Lately I’ve been infatuated with the idea of getting a dog, specifically a stocky white French bulldog named Potato Chip. I know what you’re thinking, but as a slightly overweight seven-year-old Potato Chip sounded like an ingenious name and I’ve never let it go. I can just picture myself walking little “P.C.” or “Chip” through Central Park and making him tiny sweaters for the winter moths. Maybe it’s my maternal clock going off or trying to fill some sort of fat kid void, but this French bulldog fantasy has gotten out of hand.
Admitting I have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery. I figured the best way to end this would be to compose a list of reasons why getting a dog would be a terrible idea.
So here it is. The Top Ten Reasons Why I should Not Get a French Bulldog:
- I live in NYC
- I like my living room rug too much for it to get peed on.
- I have a full time job with no breaks during the day.
- My Frenchie would obviously be the cutest on the block so it might cause some animosity between Chip and the other dogs in my building.
- I cannot afford to pay someone a ridiculous sum of money to take my dog for a walk around the block everyday.
- The idea of having a wee-wee pad (aka: a litter box for dogs) grosses me out.
- I live alone with no roommates to relieve me of responsibilities.
- I’m slightly OCD so after NYC walks I’d constantly be fighting the urge not to give my dog nightly deep conditioning baths.
- My friends would be jealous.
- I would no longer be the creepy person without a dog at the dog park (a title that I’ve become strangely accustom to).
Writing this really helped to put things into prospective. Getting a dog would be a ridiculously expensive and irresponsible move at this point in my life. With that being said, I’m still obsessed and pretty much set on getting one.
We’re back at square one folks. On that note, I gotta jet and get to work early so I can set my screen saver to Frenchie photos before my boss gets in.