Travel Etiquette

25 Apr

After two back to back work trips I have visited four airports and logged over thirteen plane hours. As much as I enjoy traveling the process of it all begins to wear on you after two weeks. With all of that being said, I’ve complied a list of travel etiquette dos and don’ts.

  1. Friendly conversation is one thing, but once the plane leaves the ground please do not continue to chirp my ear off. Our faces are way too close together and close talking makes me uncomfortable.
  2. Dear pilot, please do not make an announcement that our plane has been experiencing engine trouble and then one minute later announce that we’re cleared for takeoff.
  3. No MasterCard salesman I would not like to sign up for your Mileage Travel Plus Program so please stop heckling me from across the airport. I’m walking on the opposite side of your booth for a reason.
  4. If you’re going to chat with your neighbor please do so in a quiet voice. I don’t need to hear about your problems with acid reflux as I try to enjoy my free beverage and iTunes movie rental.
  5. Dear Security, I truly appreciate all you do, but please stop yelling at me to take off my layered shirts and zip-up sweatshirt. I swear I have nothing going on under here and frankly it’s embarrassing that you’re making me undress in front of all these strangers.
  6. You just poured me my drink and you’re already coming down the aisle with garbage asking me to throw it away? Let a girl sip her diet coke slowly like a lady!
  7. Yes your toddler with the Hello Kitty rolly suitcase is adorable, but please don’t let them drag it in front of me as you stop to order Ben & Jerry’s.
  8. Whoever gets to the row first gets armrest priority. Don’t dare think you can get in on my armrest time when you showed up minutes before take off.
  9. Please do not return your pre-made plane sandwich because there’s too much sauce on it. If you’re paying for plane food in the first place we have bigger fish to fry than worrying about nutrition.
  10. Starring over my shoulder in order to watch the movie I rented is creepy. If you’d like to watch too I’d happily charge you a rental fee of $3.99.
  11. Dear flight attendant, if my eyes are shut and seat reclined please do not wake me up to see if I would like a snack. Although it’s a nice gesture I’ll be sure to grab you post-nap if I’d like to eat the world’s smallest bag of peanuts.
  12. Do not eat Mexican food and then go sit on a plane for three hours. Just don’t do it.

I’m usually a very happy traveler, but as you can see it’s time for me to stay grounded in New York for a little while.

If you have any traveling do’s and don’ts you’d like to share please feel free to use my blog to vent. As long as you don’t hog my armrest on a plane, I’m here to listen.

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6 Responses to “Travel Etiquette”

  1. Happy Dietitian April 25, 2012 at 9:06 am #

    Haha…love this! So true.

  2. Katie April 25, 2012 at 2:35 pm #

    Interesting view on armrest priority…I always think that you get the armrest to your right. That way everyone gets one! Maybe that is too egalitarian.

    But seriously, did you log 13 plane hours without a child kicking the back of your seat? That is my #1 pet peeve – not the kid doing the kicking, but the entirely irresponsible / clueless / malicious parent who does not tell their kids to knock it off! On a transatlantic flight it got so bad I turned around and scolded the kid myself.

    • vikingpet April 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm #

      What about the stranger falling asleep on your shoulder?

  3. sweetofstyle April 26, 2012 at 1:12 pm #

    lol – I liked this!

  4. Tummy Troll May 24, 2012 at 6:15 pm #

    Absolutely agreed! Especially #2, it just gives anyone the jitters!

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